This client wrote a letter to herself nearing the end of her therapy and the whole idea of therapy as a journey is portrayed herein… Hierdie klient het ‘n brief aan haarself geskryf wat die terapie as ‘n reistog beskryf het.

So, what did I learn about myself on this journey?

Before starting with this journey, I thought I was the best little Flower* that I could be. Turns out that was way off. 

Before this, I was hard on myself. I judged myself based on who I was, my looks, my personality, the whole lot. I had a lot of love to give to everyone, the people I knew and some strangers even, but had little love to give to myself. How can you love others when you can’t love yourself? All the good memories I have were suppressed by all the bad ones that I had.

During the journey I learned who I am. I learned that my actions were not me overreacting, it’s part of my personality and who I am. I learned that it is perfectly fine to treat myself with love and respect, and it isn’t egotistic. Putting myself first is not a crime. I began to embrace self-love and self-acknowledgement without guilt, and I love every moment of it. I lost sight of all the bad things from the past that was once carved into the wall of my hall of memories. Even though a negative thought or bad memory slips through every now and then, I shut them down faster than Eskom can shut down our electricity. I learned that no-one is perfect and no-one can be, so it is alright to fall, all you have to do is stand back up.

Now, I can smile more, be happier and help people in a safer mind set. I refuse to lose myself due to the fact that I love helping people.  I care less about bad opinions I have about myself, if other people like me and include me in their day-to-day planning, and I don’t care if people say I changed. If they really love me, they will accept me for who I am. And maybe they will become a little inspired to change for the better. I love myself more and more every passing day, and I could not be more grateful for the changes happening in my life. 

Still the fact remains that nobody can be perfect, and I am perfectly fine with that.

SONNEBLOMKIND age 22 (2022)