This client wrote a letter to herself nearing the end of her therapy and the whole idea of therapy as a journey is portrayed herein… Hierdie klient het ‘n brief aan haarself geskryf wat die terapie as ‘n reistog beskryf het.

So, what did I learn about myself on this journey?

Before starting with this journey, I thought I was the best little Flower* that I could be. Turns out that was way off. 

Before this, I was hard on myself. I judged myself based on who I was, my looks, my personality, the whole lot. I had a lot of love to give to everyone, the people I knew and some strangers even, but had little love to give to myself. How can you love others when you can’t love yourself? All the good memories I have were suppressed by all the bad ones that I had.

During the journey I learned who I am. I learned that my actions were not me overreacting, it’s part of my personality and who I am. I learned that it is perfectly fine to treat myself with love and respect, and it isn’t egotistic. Putting myself first is not a crime. I began to embrace self-love and self-acknowledgement without guilt, and I love every moment of it. I lost sight of all the bad things from the past that was once carved into the wall of my hall of memories. Even though a negative thought or bad memory slips through every now and then, I shut them down faster than Eskom can shut down our electricity. I learned that no-one is perfect and no-one can be, so it is alright to fall, all you have to do is stand back up.

Now, I can smile more, be happier and help people in a safer mind set. I refuse to lose myself due to the fact that I love helping people.  I care less about bad opinions I have about myself, if other people like me and include me in their day-to-day planning, and I don’t care if people say I changed. If they really love me, they will accept me for who I am. And maybe they will become a little inspired to change for the better. I love myself more and more every passing day, and I could not be more grateful for the changes happening in my life. 

Still the fact remains that nobody can be perfect, and I am perfectly fine with that.

SONNEBLOMKIND Age 22 (2022)

Individual Therapy:

I have seen many psychologists through the last 15 years or so, but never have I as felt as comfortable as I have with Zelda.  I started seeing Zelda during a very difficult time in my life.  My daughter, who is an only child, was moving out and getting married, I was going to be moving in with my partner after 12 years of being together, and I had to have my 15-year-old dog put down.  I felt completely out of control and when I went to see Zelda the first time, I told her my story and she immediately had a plan for me.  Zelda only ever took notes during our very first consultation, so she could give me all her attention during our consultations and she remembered each and every little detail which I told her.  Even my dog’s name.  I have been seeing Zelda now for almost 6 months and I am a changed person.  With her guidance, I have been able to accept all these huge changes in my life and actually start looking forward to the future.  Before I saw Zelda, I could not even plan past the next day.  One of the things that most impressed me and that I most appreciated is that Zelda included my partner and my daughter in my therapy.  This was never offered to me before and it makes complete sense.  You would stand by any family member if they had an illness, and it seems only right that the same support should be provided to someone who is going through therapy with a psychologist.  Zelda has been supportive and caring and has always made me feel like I mattered.  Zelda is very warm, and I felt at ease with her from my very first sessions.  I have really come such a long way.  I know that I had to do all the hard work like Zelda always says, but I could not have done it without her guidance, support, and encouragement and I will always be grateful to her.  Apart from being an amazing psychologist, Zelda is one of the most lovely people I have ever met.  

Couples Therapy:

My partner was involved in my sessions with Zelda from the start of my individual therapy and even though we thought we had a good relationship after we started seeing Zelda, we realised that we could be even better together.  Zelda has shown us how to communicate with each other, how to understand each other, and accept the things about each other that would come with living together for the first time since he and I started our relationship 12 years ago.   It was a massive change for both of us and I had no idea that it would knock us both off course.  Zelda did personality tests on both of us, and to our surprise, we have so many values and personality traits that are similar, and it just confirmed to us that we are meant to be together.  Zelda said that we are a really good match.  We understand each other so much better now.  We have both grown so much in our relationship and can communicate openly and honestly with each other and it felt like we fell in love all over again.  Zelda also guided me into being able to express my feelings without becoming angry and emotional.  We started seeing Zelda before we moved in together and I believe that it really helped us to deal with the most difficult days.  We were both so used to our own space so it was a huge adjustment for us both.  We have been living together for 3 months now, and his house is now our home and I feel like I belong here.  It has made such a difference to us and even if you believe your relationship is perfect, getting to understand your partner through comparing personalities and values will only strengthen your relationship.  Couples therapy which Zelda provides should be a requirement for every young couple before they decide to get married or move in together.  I could not recommend it strongly enough. 

Thank you, Zelda.  

Charmaine Age 49